Can you put down the phone, so we could talk?

HERE’S my take on Pope Francis’ message for World Communications Day 2015.

People, whether young and old,  always find time to tinker with their gadgets anytime, anywhere.

Imagine this scenario: a family gathered at the dining table for dinner, nobody speaks a word to another because each one is busy fiddling with his/her smartphone. Daddy is calling a business associate, Mommy is surfing the net for the latest news, their teenage son is playing games while another teenage daughter is busy updating her facebook status.

If you were a friend visiting and you come upon this scene, how would you feel and what would do? Shout at them? Make a hasty exit and never come back? Cough or break something to get their attention? None of the above?

The above-given scenario maybe a bit overboard, but the reality of such a thing happening is very close to home.

Today's young people and even adults too are so taken up with modern gadgets that they can't live without it. Tablets or smartphones, these are necessities that many people today can't do without because it makes them connected to the rest of the world. With a smartphone, they do not have to worry about not catching the latest news, whatever it is and wherever they are. They do not have to feel bored when they are caught with the pesky traffic that greater Manila is notorious for. They do not have to feel isolated or get afraid if they lose their way because they can consult Google map anyway to guide them. And they can always call home or text friends anytime they feel like it.

It is a blessing to have these modern gadgets at hand especially in time of emergencies, but there is also the danger to become enslaved by them. When the gadgets are given more importance than the presence of people in our lives, something is wrong there. And we have to be aware of that. To put it simply, it is bad manners. There you are.

Pope Francis, in his Message for World Communications Day this year speaks of the importance of communication in a family setting, and of "communicating the family" as "a privileged place of encounter".

Although the pope's message have many salient points that can help us reflect on the importance of communication in a family setting, I am highlighting here two points: first, the family as a place of encounter which the media should facilitate and not hinder, and second, communicating the family through the media.

Family as a place of encounter

"It is in the context of the family that we first learn how to communicate," the pope says. True, as babies, we learned to communicate our needs first by crying and then gestures. As toddlers, we learned to form words -- ma-ma, da-da -- words that made our parents very real to us. As we grew up and built up a vocabulary, our way of communicating also developed. As children we learned the "religious dimension of communication" when we were taught our prayers either by our parents or grandparents. As we learned to speak, so we learned to listen. Listening is also another form of communication.

There is no such thing as a perfect family. Sometimes we are tempted to look at others and envy them because they look so perfect before our eyes. But every family has its own challenges, imperfections and problems that it has to deal with.  A son who is into drugs... a daughter having an illicit relationship... a child with disability.... a drunkard father ....  an absentee mother who works abroad... These are problems that are very real in our families today. But even if faced with these challenges, true encounter can still happen if we open our hearts to forgiveness and welcome the other into our hearts. Communication which is rooted from the heart plays a great deal in solving conflicts within the family.

So it is in a family setting that true communication takes place provided we are present to one another not only in body but also in spirit.

Modern media should be a means and not a hindrance to encountering people, be they part of our family circle or outside of it. The pope says they become a hindrance when they are used to shut people out of our lives. The scenario in the opening paragraph of this article is an example. I'm sure many have experienced similar circumstances, seeing themselves as invisible victims, because they become invisible to the person in front of them, who is more emotionally present to the phone he is holding.

Media should facilitate encounter, Pope Francis says. If used properly and wisely, media can be a link to enable people to tell their stories, to stay connected with friends whom we may not have seen or heard of for a long time, to express our gratitude to people who means a lot to us and to also ask forgiveness from those we have  hurt one time or another.

Communicating the family

During his visit to Manila last January this year, Pope Francis spoke of "ideological colonization" that threatens to destroy the family. He mentioned of the dangers the family is facing nowadays due to "growing efforts on the part of some to redefine the very institution of marriage; by relativism, by the culture of the ephemeral, [and] by a lack of openness to life."

The family has become a hot button topic these days in the media. We are always confronted with news about divorce, abortion, same-sex marriage, same-sex parenting-- issues that threaten the very foundation of the family. These issues then become fodder for public discussion, which lead people to "take sides rather than to see things as a whole."

Pope Francis says we have to look and regard the family as “a community which provides help, which celebrates life and is fruitful.”

“Families should be seen as a resource rather than as a problem for society.  Families at their best actively communicate by their witness the beauty and the richness of the relationship between man and woman, and between parents and children.” 

We all know that the family is the foundation of society. Without the family and the children that it provides and nurtures, society won’t exist. But rather than looking at families as “rich resource”, they are oftentimes regarded by some sectors of society as problems that need to be resolved. And the tendency of the media to highlight negative reporting about the family does not help either.

So the challenge is upon us. As we celebrate World Communications Day, let us strive to improve our communication within the family, to make our own families truly a place where we encounter one another from the heart. Let’s put down the phone for a while and make time to really talk and listen to one another. Only in making that a reality would enable us to effectively communicate how important the role of a family is in today’s media saturated society.