The Extended Family Member

There was a time when I got hooked up on television. I would spend hours late into the night watching my favorite programs or anything that caught my interest. Understandably, I would get up the following morning looking like a zombie, bleary-eyed and feeling stupid.

Marshal Mcluhan (a Canadian expert on communication, who coined the famous phrase the medium is the message and the medium is the massage) stipulated in his studies that too much exposure to television produces a numbing effect on viewers. This is partly caused by the radiation that is being absorbed by the body as the person stayed for long hours before the boob tube. Television, being a sensorial medium affects all our senses. This is practically what Mcluhan meant when he said the medium is the massage. When he invented this phrase, he was talking of the influence of television in people’s lives. Indeed, too much exposure to this medium can lead and “massage” us into an unreflective use and undiscriminating cultural consumption.

Mcluhan was very prophetic when he made this observation many years ago. Nowadays, nobody can underestimate the power of television and the preeminent role it holds in almost every family. During the festival of conferences on God the Father in Manila last January, Fr. Arevalo, SJ, mentioned in his talk about this interesting survey made among high school students in the United States sometime ago. One of the questions asked was “if you had to lose your TV set or your father, what would you rather lose?” About 65% answered father, because according to them, their fathers spend only few hours with them, whereas the television is with them six hours a day.

It is a reality that is most households communication breaks down because of little interaction among family members. This problem is heightened by the fact that one or both parents have little time for their kids. In most cases, it is the television that acts as surrogate parents to the children, an extended family member that is always ready to entertain and fill up the time.

Even if parents are around, still the television holds a primary role in family affairs.

One student of mine shares that before television came to their home, family meals were always something to look forward to, animated as it were with sharing of experiences from school and work. When the television arrived, the sharing stopped and meals were no longer taken together because everybody was busy watching either the news or a favorite TV program.

A friend told me about this lady who could not be disturbed while viewing her favorite soap opera Esperanza. The son complains that he cannot talk to his mother even of important matters at this particular time because she will get angry if ever she is interrupted from viewing her favorite program.

I find it quite admirable for parents who can instill among their children the necessary discipline in the use of media. I had these friends (a lovely couple with seven children) way back in Australia who chose not to have television in their home. They had all the necessary amenities except this. The couple thought television would only create distraction in their family life. They encouraged the children to read and pursue their interest in sports and arts. True enough, the children excelled in their studies and developed their talents in both sports and the arts.

The undisciplined use of media especially in television can be habit forming. We may not be aware of it but it can happen that we are already in the stage of addiction. Critical awareness will help. We can step back and ask ourselves: Why do we switch on the television? Just to kill the time or to get informed? Why do we view this particular program? What do we get out of it?

An honest question will always yield a truthful and enlightening answer.